Turn the Page

Each journey begins with a single step....each "epic" moment in life begins with an act...some profound, some simple.  Mine? It began when I turned the page.....

 

 of my calendar.

 

 

2013.  Doesn't it seem like just yesterday when we were worrying about the dawn of the new millennium?  2013.  I looked at my calendar, my new year, and realized that three "epic" moments in my life were happening this year.  My dad - my only surviving parent - would be turning 80.  My oldest son would be graduating from high school and me?  In just over 3 months - 107 days from today - I would be turning 50.  Yikes!  Wasn't 50 old when I was a kid?  And does anyone else my age hope that Billy Joel was wrong when he sang that "Only the Good Die Young"?

 

 

To be honest, I don't feel that old.  But my approaching milestone does have me in a more reflective mood.  I find myself thinking about "what ifs" and wondering about how I've lived my life.  Have I been a good role model?  Have I cared enough for my fellow inhabitants on this crazy planet?  Why have I never watched the sun come up while sitting on a balcony in a villa in Italy with a glass of wine in my hand?  Yea - not all my thoughts are profound or noble.  Reaching the age where ones mortality can be seen in that "light in the tunnel" does give one pause.  If I could I do it all again - what would I change?  Who would I have prevented from walking out of my life?  Who would I want in it?  What would I do differently if I could? 

 

 



Oak Hill Cemetery, San Jose CA, C. Bruno

 

 

Not a thing.  Each action, reaction, event - be it good or bad - has made me who I am today. Warts and all.  And with age also comes the wisdom that life isn't just about making others happy.  It's about making oneself happy. It's about being able to look in the mirror and instead of seeing all the impefections, you can instead see the joy of simply being you.  Have I reached that Zen state yet?  Oh hell no!  I don't know if I ever will.  But I have accepted that life is a process....that it really is about taking it one page at a time. 

 

I know you are thinking - But Jules the saying is "One Day at a Time".  And that is true...but I am not convinced that that is the best way to live.  It is too limiting.  What if that next great thing in your life takes more then one day?  Would it be considered a failure if it took you 2, 7 or 36 days to achieve that goal?  Frankly - I have had enough with failures in my life.  I would rather live my life looking for success.  So one page at a time seems appropriate.  I see my life as a book I am writing - some pages will fill up quickly, some will take a long time to complete.  And I am okay with that.  I'm not anxious for my life to be over!

 

In a previous stage of my life I wrote a lot - about baseball and my beloved Red Sox.  Yes - this girl is a HUGE sports fan of all her Boston teams.  And while I seemed to do that well, I'm not sure I want to be that limited any longer.  Yes - I will write about my Sox when the spirit moves me but I want to take a broader look at the world. To see what else excites me; what moves me. To see what is out there that will help me write that next page in my life.  And that is what this blog will be about. 

 

I will carry my camera more often to capture what inspires me. (My apologizes in advance to all you professional photographers out there.) I will slow down and take the time to see what is happening around me.  I will participate more in all the world has to offer.  I will take more chances.  And I will fill up those pages. I hope you enjoy reading my book....I know I plan on enjoying writing it.

 

                                                    Jules