You can't pick up a newspaper, turn on the evening news or read a news story online without learning about how violent the United States is becoming. The rallying cries on both sides of the gun control issue are deafening. We either need more gun control or we need to start arming everyone at birth. In the middle of all the noise about guns another battle that is heating up. In our era of "don't blame me" people are quickly looking for something, or someone, to blame for the growing body count and a new target is on the horizon and most likely you have at least one in your home...
A video gaming system.
Even the Governor of New Jersey is blaming video games for the rise in violence that we are experiencing. As the mom of two teen aged boys who play some of those games, all I can say is the answer is NOT as simple as banning those games. And people who think that is the answer are either naive, short-sighted or are simply looking for the easy way out. Or perhaps it is easier to blame the games then to do the really hard thing and look at how we are raising our kids.
When I was a kid we didn't have video games or 300 channels to watch on TV. We did have our "Saturday morning education" with Tom and Jerry chasing each other with knives and explosives, with Wile E Coyote trying to drop pianos and safes and anvils onto the Roadrunner and with the Three Stooges slapping each other and poking everyone in the eye. And yet I don't think most of us grew up to model any of those behaviors. Were we smarter then the current generation of children? Most likely not...they can program all the hi-tech stuff much better then we can...so why were we capable of surviving the violence we were exposed to? Perhaps it is because we had parents who cared enough to shut the TV off and yell at us to do something else! Maybe it is because our parents knew the difference between "adult" shows and movies and what was okay for kids to view. Or maybe it is because our parents cared more about being our parents then being our friends.
I have been called an "old-fashion" parent by my peers and I am proud of it! My boys were not allow to see movies rated PG-13 or R when they were young. They had to wait until I deemed they were old enough. AND more importantly they were not watching those movies with their friends - and how do I know this? Because even though it made me the "uncool" mom I actually TOLD the parents of my boys friends that my boys were not allowed to watch those shows! Imagine that! And guess what? The other parents respected my wishes!! When a gathering or party involved watching a movie, I got a phone call in advance from a parent asking if the movie they were going to watch was okay for my sons to see. But too many parents won't do that - won't actually be a parent! It is easy to say "oh well, everyone else is doing it so what can I do about it?" I say there is PLENTY you can do about it!! It might not always be the most popular route but they are your kids!
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But now a days it is blame the media! Blame the video games! Blame anyone but me!! Can't be my fault!! Is it really video games that are causing people in our society to snap? In South Korea the online game Starcraft is almost a religion. There are people who make a living playing a game where you shoot and kill people! And yet the violence in their society is far lower then ours. Hmmm...in plenty of other parts of the world video games - violent video games - are all the rage and yet those countries do not experience the same level of violence that we do here in the United States. Why do you suppose that is? Without a doubt guns are not as readily available in those societies, but acts of violence can also be committed with knives and bats and fists. And I understand that it is very easy to learn to make a crude bomb from directions available on the Internet. So the means are there...why aren't they used?
Maybe the answer to that question is in the mirror.
I suggest that the problem with America is that we have become a society of people who live on instant gratification. A society of entitled brats. A society who has no concept of the word no. And I truly believes that goes back to too many parents NOT willing to be parents. And not the video games. If you KNOW your kid then you know when they should be exposed to violent games. The kid who has no ability to control his or her temper should not be playing those sorts of games at all! But it isn't just games...3rd graders should not be watching Rambo and 8th graders shouldn't be having hot tub parties! (Why yes, those are two real world examples that I had to deal with with kids in my boys' classes.) We no longer let kids be kids; we no longer make our kids "earn" something. We had a couple of gaming systems in my home and my youngest son wanted the new Wii system when it came out...fine we told him, you save up your money and when you have enough you can get it. Guess what? HE SAVED HIS MONEY! He didn't need it right away, it wasn't a necessity. The idea that you have to work for something is foreign to too many people. People want their kids to "like them". There is time for your kids to like you - later. Here's a news flash - No kid has ever died just because they didn't have an iPhone! Nor has any child died because they were told they weren't old enough to see a movie, or that they were to young to play a game or, GOD FORBID, that the answer to their question was no. We do a grave disservice to our kids when we don't allow them to face adversity - and disappointment - when they are young. I would suggest that kids who don't have that nurturing environment - where the word "no" is heard and where the kids learn at a very young age that there are consequences to their actions - those are the kids who grow up and commit the violent crimes in our society. It doesn't matter if they have watched a violent movie or played a violent video game. All that matters is that they had responsible adults in their lives. THAT is what society should be looking to fix.
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